today i went to the dentist. i had, prior to the engagement, i had engaged in some ever so slightly illigal activity involving that ever so imfamous herb and i was feeling pretty snazzy as i listened to the spits and giggled slightly on my bus ride to south boulder. upon entering the dentist office there was i sign on the door that read "please excuse our mess, we are currently under going the remodling of our office facilities" in neatly typed lettering. i shook my head and i thought to myself, "damn them, remodling the office, what gives them the right" thinking myself to be quite witty. i gathered myself and entered. the office wasnt a "mess" persay but it was quite drab ill give it that. i liked the counter and peered down at the pudgy lady filing paperwork. "hello.im emily hogg. h-o-g-g and im here for an appointment"
"oh yes, here fill out this paper work...lets see if i can find it..."
another woman in the office, sitting in front of a computer further back emerged behind her.
"oh, christina, her files have been sent to storage, god if youre going to take up that chair you should be doing something" it was obvious she was joking but i opened my mouth wide as if i was appauled she could treat her coworker that way. i took the paper work and returned to my seat. the appolstry of the cushions was some sort of kitschy south western theme. it made me think of the holiday inn. i started filling out the green sheet about the head of the household and i said the head of my household was my dad, which was correct but i thought that for some reason i, was infact the head of the household and that i had done it wrong. but i was too embarressed to go up and ask for a new sheet, so, glancing around me slyly, i swiftly removed the sheet from the clip board the slid it into my pocket. pleased with myself, i struted up to the desk and said to the plump woman; "excuse me maam, but i need a green sheet, you didnt give me one."
she looked puzzled. "i didnt give you one? but i could have sworn..."
"nope, didnt get one of the dull green ones."
"oh, im sorry" she took one from the black plastic shelf and handed it to me.
i thanked her and returned to my seat. i was feeling ever so stealthy. i filled out the rest of the paper work, and decided that i am very dull, i have absolutly none of the health conditions they list. i wondered, should i?
when i returned it to the desk, the woman shook her head in dismay,
"are you under 18?"
"yes, is that a problem?"
"well, if youre under 18 you need parental supervision, can you call your mom?"
i hesitated, "i suppose."
she handed me the bulky two line phone over the counter. i promtly began dialing. it was curious because the phone in the office started ringing and the woman in the back answered, "dental aid?" and it was on the other line of the phone i was using.
"oh, uh sorry" i said dumbly, "was i supposed to dial 9?"
"yes, yes you were." she looked agitated.
My mother said she was on her way but by the time she had arrives, i was halfway through part two of clockwork orange and they had cancelled my appointment. damn dentists, rob me blind.