this is a conversation that took place on aim between molly and i in either seventh or eight grade...

emily: i love the milk carton

molly : me too!

molly : but be careful what you say, cuz hes my boyfriend

emily: since when have you been going out?

emily: last time we talked he was with cheryl

molly: nah, cheryl went off with the crouton box and he hasnt heard from her since. but anyways, he 'dumped' her (they still havent talked, but that relationship is over as far as he is concerned) and now we're going steady

emily: really? wow...well today this box of shredded wheat asked me out but i was like, 'no way im more of a frosted type sorry'

molly: yeah, i mean, i had this dirty chicken soup can come up the other day and ask if i wanted to nibble his carrots! this world is seriously going down hill

molly: i told him he could nibble someone elses carrots and that i had a boy friend

emily: i know what you mean!! they think they can shove their carrots in anyones face and they will automaticly nibble them??? whats wrong with them?

molly: i know, seriously! my cousin, Betty Crocker, you know her dont you? well she was just visiting the pillsburry dough boy in Acapulco last weekend and she was approached by a mexican burrito who asked the same thing! these men! i swear, i think they must be going stale or something, because it wasn't this way 10 years ago

fun with food fetishes. my god. molly is a genius.
i couldn't come up with that stuff if i tried.